


AtS Valentine Cards

by Menomegirl



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Community poetry, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 14:13:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3450080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menomegirl/pseuds/Menomegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentine's Day approaches. Our gang are all in need of some love. What valentines will they send? What gifts? Who do they secretly want to smooch? Yes, we just want y'all to laugh!</p>
            </blockquote>





	AtS Valentine Cards

**Author's Note:**

> Valentine poetry written by various authors on the Angel MB.

Written by: Watchandthink:

From Angel to Nina: 

Oh, lovely Nina, howl at the moon,   
The time is nigh, come to me soon.   
You above, me beneath,   
You with hair, me with teeth.   
Our romance will bloom with the moon ascendent,   
However, this love is not transcendent.

 

From Eve to Lindsey: 

Your body is buff and covered with runes,   
We'll drive the vamps as crazy as loons.   
What you see in me, I'll never know,   
Neither do most of the fans of the show

About Angel/Lindsey:

When Angel first heard Lindsey croon,   
He fell into a love-sick swoon.   
He tried to hide his pounding lust,   
Behind a mask of fake disgust.   
He asked his friends, "Are you all drunk?"   
While planning to seduce the hunk. 

 

From Wes to Fred: 

I love your dark, cascading locks,   
But why are you so stuck on Knox?   
I know that bad guys are now in vogue..   
But why not try a demon hunting rogue? 

 

Lorne, about himself: 

I sing like a dream and I'll read your aura,   
When I have to go out I wear a fedora.   
Some would say my love life's in a rut.   
But your heart gets squashed when it's in your butt.

 

Andrew to Spike: 

Compared to you, I'm a young one.   
But I love you, you blooming onion.   
Grab your hog, let's go for a ride.   
You'll be the groom, I'll be your bride.

 

From Angel to Jasmine: 

I saw you and I wore yellow,   
I stopped being a broody fellow.   
My joy was so pure   
I wasn't sure   
If I would lose my goodness and soul   
Then I realized your face was a maggot hole

About Angel/Spike:

We know Angel loves his blonds,   
Just like a fern loves it fronds.   
And Spike thinks Angel's a hunky fellow,   
And so he dyes his hair bright yellow.   
And all their fighting and dissension   
Is just a sign of sexual tension. 

Lorne:

Here's a secret I doubt you knew:   
Lorne has a great big crush on Groo.   
When he sees Groo's manly champion strut,   
His heart starts pounding in his butt.   
So the offer to Groo from our demon green?   
Hey, forget Cordelia... I'll be your queen. 

Wesley:

Our rogue demon hunter extraordinaire,   
Used to have manly facial hair.   
Now he's clean shaven, clipped and cut,   
There's a spring in his step, a jump in his strut....   
He's gotten into the clean-cut groove,   
Cause Angel likes his Wesley smooth.

Willow:

Willow thought Fred was kind of a dish.   
With her big ole' eyes like Lillian Gish.   
They swapped some stories, in Latin, no less,   
That she was being hit on, Fred didn't guess.   
But she babbled so much that when she was done,   
Willow, turned off, said, I'm seeing someone.

Menomegirl:

How can you hate my Angel dear?   
His need for love is oh so clear.   
He and Linds have a private dance,   
It's called a love & hate romance.   
They dare not call their love by name,   
They'd rather suffer death than shame.

Spike:

Spike was attacked and his arms were removed.   
Angel watched over him, until he improved.   
Spike so enjoyed his sire's bedside manner,   
That he decided to fly his star Spangeled banner. 

 

Written by: LilOrchidJenny

Fred to Wes: 

I used to see you as a friend,   
Buddy, pal and what-not.   
But now I know I can't pretend,   
Truth is I think you're hot. 

 

Fred to Spike:   
Dearest Spike, I wish you the best,   
But I'm not really into SPRED.   
For Wesley's the one that caught my heart,   
I'd rather be dearly WED. 

 

Written by: wytewytch72:

 

Senior Partners to Fang Gang: 

Once you all were brave and true   
helping the helpless was the thing to do.   
Now we have you in our power   
surely this is evil's finest hour!

 

Written by: LovingAHeart

From Angelus: 

Your neck could be red   
Your body black and blue   
Let's share my "love" in a way   
That the doctor will always remember you

 

From Angelus to Buffy: 

Little Miss Buff   
Sat on her tuff   
Baking cookies all day   
Along came Spike   
Who bedded the tike   
And together they drove sweet Angel away. 

 

Angel to Spike: 

What I love about you:   
Your gawd awful poems.   
Your plastered radioactive hair.   
The fact that you never find the need to change clothes.   
That tilt of your head.   
That smirky smile. 

Oh hell - take me I'm yours!

 

Spike to Andrew: 

Your embrace was as tight as a drum   
But was that your hand on my bum?   
Your Gandolf reference was cool   
But you made me look like a fool.   
If you want to be my paramour,   
Don't hug me in front of the guys any more! 

Spike/Buffy:

Spike loved his kittens - all colors and types.   
He had quite a collection from his card games at night.   
But he lost interest in that type of kitty   
When he found a Slayer that was young and pretty. 

Come to my crypt and play he would say.   
Oh no said she - not on any given day.   
He pestered and stalked and then there was that kiss.   
And down came the house - roof, boards, and bricks

On Slash:

"The L/A Ship" cries one.   
Another shouts "Spangel".   
As for me   
I'll take all three.   
Wet, in leather, and in a tangle. 

 

Written by: DemonAlex2K4:

Spike to Drusilla :

You may be quite a bit crazy   
Your thoughts may be a bit hazy   
But from all that I hold true   
Remember what I say Dru   
You bite my neck   
and I'll bite yours too 

 

Connor to Cordy: 

You were a bit strange in the bed   
now you're comatose and nearly dead   
but what was most shocking   
what seemed like a weird omen   
I find it real strange...   
that you gave birth to a full grown black woman! 

 

From Spike to Harmony:

I know that you'll always care   
from the way you call me blondie bear   
you tried to stake me   
and you know thats true   
but in the end you try to dust me   
and I'll dust you too

 

Written by: Karocel98:

From Spike to Drusilla: 

you left me luv, 'tis true   
for an demon with antlers most thorny   
but I'll continue to woo   
my beloved Dru   
and strive to become more horny 

 

Written by: Amel950:

From Xander to Spike: 

When you burnt my heart was in the gutter,   
Now you're alive and it is all a flutter.   
The Spandex love was pure and sweet   
Cause you thought I was a "nummy treat". 

Though just a friend you claimed to be   
There was more to you and me.   
No one knew it, perhaps it's true   
But there was love twixt me and you. 

From Harmony to Fred: 

You got no curves   
You got no style   
Eat some damn food   
And you'll drive men wild.

 

From Gunn to Fred: 

Yo girl! I know you're over me,   
But I have eyes and I can see Your messing   
with my boy, AD.   
Oops, in the show he's called Welsey. 

I know you ain't no skanky ho,   
So why you trippin with my bro?   
Is it WED, or SPRED, or FOX? You know   
Which ship do you want to go with the flow? 

So make a choice and make it quick.   
Your attitude, it makes me sick.   
And while we're talkin sick, you stick   
Have a few more tacos, that's the trick!

 

Lorne to, well, just about anybody: 

Roses are red,   
Grass is green.   
Am I not the sexiest Pylean   
You ever have seen?

 

From Lindsay to Angel: 

Baby I'm back! I've been waiting for you.   
And what do you know? I'm doing Eve too!   
My intentions for you are not pure and true.   
Just get me alone, you'll see what I can do 

 

Written by: SpikFan:

 

Angel to Spike: 

From the moment I saw you,   
My heart's been aflame.   
But your desire was Dru,   
So my love I did tame. 

Together we hunted, Love,   
Together we killed   
Until the Powers above,   
My soul did instill. 

You hated and shunned me Spike,   
I never forgot,   
Told me to take a long hike,   
And find my own lot. 

I left and wandered alone,   
Craving your cold touch.   
Longing for those abs of stone,   
In the night so much. 

A long many years did pass,   
Until next we met.   
Yet you felt I was still crass,   
My lust you failed to whet. 

Now we stand on equal ground,   
Our souls both restored.   
My love to you I shall sound,   
From mountain to shore. 

I love you Spike can't you see?   
Please, tell me you do.   
All along I've waited for thee,   
Return my 'I love you.' 

I can't bear separation,   
From your icy touch.   
This is no infatuation,   
Only Buff was such. 

I will shower you with gifts,   
Hold a big bold sign.   
I'll admit to wearing lifts   
If you're my Valentine. 

I love you Spikey baby! 

 

From Spike to Angel: 

You came from the shadows,   
Reeking of lust.   
I knew all at once   
I would crave you and trust. 

You brought me such pleasure.   
You gave me such pain.   
We tumbled together,   
The ground we did stain. 

Then you drifted away,   
Your heart full of hate.   
For the way that you imposed,   
On my weak innocent state. 

I wanted to hold you,   
Tell you to stay.   
But my eyes you avoided,   
Kept your feelings at bay.   
There were nights that I dreamt,   
Of your icy cold touch.   
Wrapping around me,   
And holding me such. 

My eyes, they did shed,   
Many buckets of tears.   
Knowing you left me,   
Realizing my fears. 

I hoped you still loved me,   
I hoped you still cared.   
When I saw you again,   
My passion was bared. 

You tortured and teased me,   
Just like before.   
In your arms you held Dru,   
But it was me you adored. 

The hurt it was great,   
When I lost you again.   
You buried yourself,   
In those feelings of sin. 

Now all that is past,   
There's no one to blame.   
You are my lover,   
My soul's single flame. 

You tell me you love me,   
That you've never regret.   
Those times full of passion,   
Once the red sun did set. 

I love you my Angel,   
You are my desire.   
My urges can't wait,   
Come TAKE ME Grandsire! 

 

Written by: smartnprettyboy:

 

From Spike to Angel 

How I love you in many different ways   
Let me count the different ways   
I love the way your stupid poufy hair sticks straight up   
I love the way you glare at me   
I love the way your leather coat seems to have a life of its own   
I love the way your :) look in those leather pants   
I love the way you wear various socks   
without any real sense of fashion style   
I love the way your eyes travel my body when   
you think I'm not looking   
You stupid poof, I love you so much! 

 

Ode to Money, by Anya 

I love the way the dollar bills look   
Rectangular, green, and crisp   
Beautifully inked portraits of long since dead men   
I love the way the dollar bills smells   
Having been next to more dollar bills   
How the smell of fresh and old ink lingers   
I love the way the dollar bills feel to the touch   
Soft and wrinkled after being handled by various customers   
Smooth and crisp, uncorrupted by the others' touch   
I love the way money can be exchanged for goods   
Goods in turn if appropriately priced can be   
exchanged for further more money   
Until my bank account is filled to its maximum limit   
And I have to open another account so more money can be stored  
For my future needs for various goods and/or profits   
Money, money, money, how I love you!!! 

 

Written by: Menomegirl:

From Lilah To Wesley: 

I really like you, but now the point's moot   
That damn Wolfram & Hart gave me the boot   
What you tried to do for me was really sweet   
But I'm laughing in Hell, cause you're sucking the corporate teat.

 

From Lindsey To Eve: 

Sloppy seconds just aren't my style   
But since we have a plan, thought I'd wait awhile   
To tell you what a skank I think you are   
You slept with the man I've been waiting for

From Angel To Lindsey: 

Didn't you learn anything when I cut off your hand?   
It won't take me long to foil your silly plan.   
Your wish to seduce me will go astray   
Since the network doesn't think we're gay

From Wesley To Angel: 

I heard a rumor floating all over town   
That you and Lindsey were fooling around   
Be still my heart, say it's not true!   
I thought I meant everything to you? 

 

From Harmony To Fred: 

Oh my god, girl, what's wrong with your head?   
I thought I was the one who was dead   
Why don't you pick one of those men?   
You're driving us all off the deep end

 

From Buffy To Angel: 

We're staying in Rome, Dawn's in school   
I know you don't think I'm a fool   
Andrew told me what you're doing with Spike   
I'm writing to tell you both to go take a hike


End file.
